One Old Sage

Thoughts, Stories, and Bits of Wisdom

A Tale of Two Moms…Happy Mother’s Day!

I read Anka’s post over at http://keepingitrealmom.com/2013/05/09/mothers-day-will-look-like-this/ and it brought back some good memories for me about Mother’s Days past.

I’m fortunate enough to have two Moms; my first Mom and my wonderful mother in law who is every bit a Mom to me as my own Mom.

My Mom:

My mother was widowed when she was sixty and went on to live to be seventy-nine. Considering how badly her body was performing that was a bit of a miracle in itself but one thing she never lost was her sharp mind.

In her later years she was in a care facility and getting out for a meal was a treat. I used “getting out” on purpose rather than “going out” because it did feel like release from confinement sometimes I’m sure.

At this time, my two brothers and our families lived within easy driving distance of one another and we would usually plan to take Mom out to brunch at one of the better hotels. She loved going for brunch whether it was for Mother’s Day or just a Sunday whim. She could pick over, at, and through everything that appealed to her. One of us would have to take her plate and follow her through the line while she pointed out what she wanted. She required either a walker or a cane so carrying a plate just wasn’t on the agenda. Besides, why do that when one of your sons or daughters in law are available? Woes betide you if you put something on the plate that you thought she might like and she hadn’t approved it.

For a small woman, she could pack away quite a bit and I do mean “pack”.

There was always one last trip to the buffet so that she could pick up a chicken leg or a special dessert. She couldn’t possible eat it so it would be either conveniently wrapped in a napkin or more likely put in a doggy bag by one of the servers.

I really can’t blame her. While the food at her care facility was nutritious, it would be very institutional in nature and lacking certain things, like taste. She always had a grin on her face as she put her “I’ll save this for later” treat in her purse or walked out with it in a bag. If you called the next day, you were usually told how good the brunch was and how much she enjoyed the leftovers.

We would all laugh about her little gathering game after we dropped her off and knew that it would be repeated the next time. It’s a great memory.

My Mother in Law:

When it comes to a mother in law, I won the lottery. I will put her up against anyone on any day and I’m pretty sure that I will win hands down.

When Linda and I first started dating, we would travel from our home in Calgary to the bustling town of Drayton Valley. DV’s claim to fame is that it is in the heart of one of the largest conventional oil fields in North America.

It was a rough and tumble town in the 1970’s and to a certain degree it still is. It was the type of place that when my brother went there to collect debts, he dressed down and sat facing the door in the beer parlor.

As you can imagine, my meeting the family was a trying experience but Mrs. B—–, as she was known by me at that time, made me feel welcome. Well, all the family did actually.

Mom owned and ran the finest drive thru restaurant in DV. I’m not saying that as if it was the only one. She had lots of competition but her fried chicken and her hamburgers were known far and wide. She was an entrepreneur before it was fashionable to be one.  My father in law was a surveyor by trade and was away from home a great deal. Mom held the family together. She got used to moving a lot and I do mean a lot! By the time Linda was eleven, they had moved twenty-three times.

Over the years, she changed from being Mrs. B—– to me to Marj to Mom, the last being the easiest to say and the most accurate.

She is an amazing woman in so many ways. She was also widowed at a relatively young age and has lived on her own for the past 24 years.

She still walks to the grocery store and shopping center that are nearby. She gets a little help from us for things like being driven to appointments or for large loads of groceries even though it bugs the hell out of her to ask.

She makes the best desserts for our Sunday dinners.

She loves each of her children equally but differently as any good Mom does. She knows who needs to be held close and who is happy to be farther away. She knows who needs re-enforcement and who doesn’t, in other words, a knowing loving mother. She has her opinions but isn’t opinionated. However, be ready for a lively discussion if you hit a topic that rankles her.

We have great little talks as I drive her to her appointments. We’d probably get much better discussions if she didn’t have to repeat everything two or three times because of my hearing impairment.

She never gets involved in the personal affairs of her children unless asked. In my forty-two years of marriage she has never made me feel that I was anything but a member of her brood.

So, as we celebrate Mother’s Day on Sunday with a trip to the Golf Club for dinner with Mom, I’ll be thinking of my departed Mom and be thankful that I have another Mom to share the day.

How lucky can a guy get to have two great Moms in his life?

22 comments on “A Tale of Two Moms…Happy Mother’s Day!

  1. Cancer in My Thirties
    June 12, 2013

    What a wonderful story and tribute to your Moms.
    I’m sorry that you lost your first mom — from this and your breast cancer post, she sounded like a special lady and a great mother. I’m sure that both of your moms are very proud of you. I know I would be proud of my sons if they wrote something so lovely about me!
    Thank you for giving us a window into two special relationships! ;-)

    • Nelson - One Old Sage
      June 13, 2013

      Thank you. Mom lived a good life and died nearing her 80th birthday. Like all Mom’s she had her quirks and could be a challenge to live with sometimes but she never lacked love. :)

  2. Pat Hatt
    May 15, 2013

    Great tribute indeed, sounds like you sure have had wonderful women in your life and enjoy them too as they enjoy you.

  3. coachdaddyblogger
    May 13, 2013

    A beautiful tribute, and I love the details. You really give us a sense of the essence of both these wonderful women. There’s nothing like a mother’s love, even when it comes from a mother-in-law.

  4. Blake Wickland
    May 13, 2013

    Another great post Uncle Nelson. Pretty much hit the nail on the head!

  5. Rick Wickland
    May 10, 2013

    Nice try Nelson, you forgot to say she is Mother of all Mothers, I’m getting her a cruise for Mothers Day.

  6. ramblingsfromamum
    May 10, 2013

    Nelson what a lovely tribute to both your mums. Indeed you are lucky to have fallen into a family of acceptance, kindness and love, who could ask for more? You made me giggle reading about your mum RIP Mrs. Nelson. I had the visual of her tucking into fine fare and then taking a ‘doggy-bag’ home. It’s all these little moments that are so special and that will be remembered as you have done. I was gob smacked at moving 23 times…amazing. I am glad that you will be celebrating it with your other mum. I hope you all have a wonderful day shared with moments that will give you great memories in the future. There aren’t many men who would say the last line (in your post) and I salute you. x

  7. Lynette d'Arty-Cross
    May 9, 2013

    Yes – a great story. You are very fortunate to have had such wonderful women in your life. Enjoy Mother’s Day with your “other” mom! :)

    • Nelson - One Old Sage
      May 10, 2013

      Thanks we will. If you’re a Mom I hope you have a great day too. :)

      • Lynette d'Arty-Cross
        May 10, 2013

        Thanks, Nelson. :) I am a mom, but I live far from my kids so I won’t see them on Sunday. Plan to spend the day doing yard work – yeech!

  8. Nelson……. what a great story. Thanks for sharing – that put a smile on my face :)

    • Nelson - One Old Sage
      May 9, 2013

      Thanks for stopping by. Now just wait until your little one(s) are old enough to tell stories on their Mom. :)

  9. Velta Barnes
    May 9, 2013

    Awesome story Nelson! I think I may have an inside track, since you and I share the same mother in law. Well said. Love her to bits!
    Velta

  10. Anka
    May 9, 2013

    You are indeed lucky, Nelson! Two women with two VERY rich legacies. I loved reading the story about taking your mom to brunch. I would’ve taken a few of those desserts home too!
    As for your mother-in-law, whom you now comfortably refer to as “mom,” she is a treasure. There aren’t many mothers who know how to customize their love and affection for each child. I also love the fact that she doesn’t meddle in their personal affairs.
    Cheers to the beautiful women in your life. Hope you all have a lovely weekend!

Your Comments are Always Welcome:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

One Old Sage

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 233 other followers

Posts By Date

May 2013
S M T W T F S
« Apr   Jun »
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  

Copyright Notice

© Nelson Armstrong, OneOldSage.com and Old Sage Publishing Co., 2012-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nelson Armstrong, OneOldSage.com and Old Sage Publishing Co. with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Life After 50

Life at any age can be amazing! We only need to grab hold & experience it!

In the Net! - Stories of Life and Narcissistic Survival

This is my story and I'm sticking to it!

My Eyes Are Up Here

My experience with breast cancer

gregsmithmd

mental health musings

Things I learned while dealing with prostate cancer

Helping others with prostate cancer

OUR LIFE IN 3D

The Home of Daddy's Day Dare! ~ I am just trying to stay above water

Jenn in her own words...

Blogging life - the best and the challenges...

renée a. schuls-jacobson

because life doesn't fit in a file folder

Sliding Down Cancer's Bell Curve

Outliving the average, but inevitably still a statistic

drattai

thoughts on life, balance, serenity and community

Telling Knots

About 30% of people diagnosed with breast cancer at any stage will develop distal metastasis. I am one of them.

cancer in my thirties

I was a mom to twin kindergartners and had just turned 34 when a breast CANCER diagnosis completely changed my life...

Prostate diaries

Medical insight, personal stories and humor from a "urologist with his own disease." An insider's view to aid the newly diagnosed prostate cancer patient and the women who love him.

Coach Daddy

It's all about fatherhood, futbol and food.

Ramblings From A Mum

This is my journey, my thoughts, my views, plain and simple and from my heart. Please travel with me and share, hopefully it will be an interesting trip.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 233 other followers

%d bloggers like this: