10 Things to Do Before the World Ends!
I know, I know, people have been talking about this for a long time but what can I say, I procrastinate. I guess I better get ready for the end of the world. This is really a dumb statement when you think about it. If the world truly does end, you won’t know about it! Regardless, I better be sure that I have a checklist. To steal a shtick from David Letterman I made a Top 10 List.
- Max out credit cards – Got that one covered! No prep necessary.
- Get a mortgage on the house that uses all the equity – I wonder if I can get that done before the 21st?
- Tell off that relative I’ve never liked but tolerated – I think I’ll wait until the 20th for that one as they may have time to retaliate if I tell them too soon.
- Make sure the laundry is done and the house is clean – We wouldn’t want the world to end with a messy house or dirty laundry would we.
- Buy a survival kit – Oh wait, if the world is ending, I won’t need it. Note to you folks who have already bought one: The salesman saw you coming!
- Buy that Bentley that I’ve had my eye on – Might as well enjoy a new ride for a few days.
- Eat all the chocolate that I can stuff into my body – OK I added this one just for fun as I pretty much do that anyway.
- Make my favourite braised spare ribs – Nah, they take two days to prepare and who has the time with the world ending.
- Call everyone on my contact list from my cell phone so that I can finally use all the minutes they give me every month – Could be a tough one because a)I don’t talk on the phone and b)who needs that many hangups once I say who it is?
- Tell everyone I really care about how much they mean to me – That one I would do but hopefully they already know. But if they don’t who wants to be accused of getting all maudlin if the world doesn’t end?
Oh yeah, one more thing. If you are reading this and really want to be prepared, be sure to listen to what your mother said and put on clean underwear. You never know when you might get into an accident.